Decision 2012? What Decision?

What's to decide? Whether 'tis nobler in the mind.... nonono. That's not it.

Oh yeah, it's an election year! And anyone who happened to stumble on PBS' smug little fact- deprived fest The Choice 2012 last night might wonder what all the fuss was about. See, the frustrating thing about Frontline programs for me is that they always just miss the mark and end up doing more harm than good.

To wit... let's say I'm one of those crucial "undecided voters" watching the program last night.  (I know, never happen, right? Like I've ever been undecided about politics in my life! And damn them anyway, undecided folks who can't be bothered to pay attention to their own country's politics but one month out of every four years, then they wonder how in hell everything went to pieces in the interim! screw 'em!)

But let's just say I'm one of them for the moment. Okay, here's my mindset: I'm gonna feel all patriotic and informed and openminded for a change and watch this 2 hour PBS show about the two presidential candidates even though I know PBS is so lefty and all. But I'm smart, I can see through the propaganda. And I like Mr. Rogers.

So I watch the show. Let me first say that prior to this I (the undecided voter) was leaning toward voting for Obama again, I mean, I wanted to be hopeful last time, and so voted for him then, but, geez, what has he done for me lately? So I'll check Romney out, he looks so clean cut and all, and well... he is white. But I'm not racist or anything. I mean I did vote for O last time, but when's the guy gonna grow a pair? Maybe havin a Black guy in a White House isn't cool! Who am I to say?

So I watch the show and am shocked, just shocked, at how lame Obama comes off, and seems to have been, all his life. He's kinda.... well.... effeminate, too loose, one of those people pleaser types.  Just kinda lame lame lame, lying around Hawaii getting high and all, kinda too cool, almost smug looking, ya know? Not grateful for the privileges he was given, going to Occidental and Harvard and all? There's somethin kinda off putting about the way he keeps tryin to act so white - but black when it suits him. Like he's not sure which he is. Anyway, thing is, according to the show, he hasn't done much, not really, seems like he just wants to run things, be the big kahuna all the time, but doesn't get much done. Never made any money really, he comes off as a player tryin to be a hero. (I don't mean  "uppity nigger" or anything, just ... you know, seems a bit lazy. Too much Talk, not enough Do. He's hardly ever on the news.  What does he do with his time?)

But Romney! Now there's a man! And it's nice to see a wife who knows her place, just seems right, I can't help it.  (Tho there was that one shot of her lookin pretty tough when that reporter asked too many questions, but not like Michele can look tough, just, well, kinda unladylike you know? )  Anyway, Romney's accomplished so much! I mean he really knows how to get things done, adjust to the situation and all. And make money doin it! So what if he doesn't like to pay his taxes to the country he's made so much money off of, but hey, he says it's all legal, so why not? So what if he sells cigarettes to teenagers in Russia? Fuck them. I'm sick of waiting for things to get better. My unemployment's runnin out soon and $200 a month in food stamps just isn't enough.

What have the Democrats done for me the last four years anyway? 

We need a real man in charge. Screw it. I'm votin for Romney! Undecided no longer!

(Hmmm..I better check if I'm still registered.  Stop by the town office right after my appointment at Planned Parenthood. Christ,  five weeks late! Good thing they do sliding scale.)

Oh, and for anyone yearning for a Bartlet in the White House, (yeah, only Daily!), Mo Dowd seems to have tapped into that zeit here. God Bless Mo.