Today's the Big Day!

Here's Harold to tell you all about it...nice sideburns, Har!

(at the BBC's website, I read)

"Harold Camping, 89, predicts that Jesus Christ will return to earth on Saturday and true believers will be swept up, or "raptured", to heaven."

Well, I want to know of Jesus will be taking questions, cause I have some I've been saving up.

Harold says biblical texts indicate that a giant earthquake on Saturday will mark the start of the world's destruction, and that by 21 October all non-believers will be dead..[Muslims call them infidels]

"US atheists are to hold parties in response to an evangelical broadcaster's prediction that Saturday will be "judgement day".The Rapture After Party in North Carolina - "the best damned party in NC" - is among the planned events."

North Carolina!? Why that's just up the road! What should I wear? What are you wearing? (Finger to temple, tilted head) Maybe my new pure white capris! Does this mean I don't have to pay my phone bill? What about those Pradas I have on layaway?

Harold sez he plans to spend the day watching events unfold on TV. Well I say, Party on, Harold!

(It's WJWD, no doubt)

What might Harold have to say about the new science on "dark energy" I wonder? I can't help but doubt he's a big science fan.

BBC sez,

"First results from a major astronomical survey using a cutting-edge technique appear to have confirmed the existence of mysterious dark energy.

Dark energy makes up some 74% of the Universe and its existence would explain why the Universe appears to be expanding at an accelerating rate.... "The action of dark energy is as if you threw a ball up in the air, and it kept speeding upward into the sky faster and faster," said co-author Dr Chris Blake of the Swinburne University of Technology in Melbourne, Australia....

While dark energy makes up about 74% of the Universe, dark matter - which does not reflect or emit detectable light - accounts for 22%. Ordinary matter - gas, stars, planets and galaxies - makes up just 4% of the cosmos. [Now that'll give one pause!]

However, despite scientists being able to infer the existence of dark energy and dark matter, these phenomena still elude a full explanation."

(wull no shyte...)

Oh my God, and then there's this...

"An American woman is being questioned in California for allegedly trying to sell a moon rock for $1.7m (£1.05m).

The woman, whose identity has not been revealed, was held in a sting operation [??? Your tax dollars, hard at work!] when she showed the rock to a Nasa investigator in Lake Elsinore.

Moon rocks are considered national treasure in the United States and their sale is illegal."

Finally, there's this from Joshua Brown, The reformed Broker

Somali Pirates Raise a Venture Fund

"It's nice to see the spirit of venture capitalism take root all over the world, even on the war-torn coasts of Somalia. But on the Arabian Sea and in the Gulf of Eden, we're not so much talking about social media startups - in this case we're talking kidnapping and theft...but fine, it's a start."

[From Forbes] The first quarter of 2011 has seen piracy-at-sea hit an all time high with 142 attacks worldwide and 97 of the East coast of Somalia, up from 35 a year ago, a report by the IMB Piracy Reporting Center says. As ransom-payouts increase exponentially, more sophisticated piracy syndicates are even selling shares in planned attacks to villagers in order to finance their operations, according to the head of the U.S. Navy.

"There's always a bull market somewhere. In this case, it's in jacking vessels and ransoming their crews and contents. It's nice to see that the villagers are able to get in on the action [ love this guy's sense of humor]. I wonder if the pirates first verify whether or not they're accredited before taking their funds. "

For more read original Forbes article. Unbelievable...

I guess today can't be the day I kill myself cause there's just too much to laugh at out there. Maybe tomorrow will be more promising.